Where we've been

It's been so long since I've posted, and so much has been going on with us, that I'm going to try to do an update...bear with me.

Tuesday March 31st
My girl's first birthday. We had her first professional pictures made. (and I bought the photo cd, so the images are MINE I say, MINE!)

Saturday April 4th
My girls first birthday party. We ate mini hamburgers and opened presents. My girl burned her arm on the lighter my husband used to light the candles on her cake. She received a hot pink rifle as a gift from my brother. Fun was had by all.

We also told our close family and friends that we were expecting baby number two by presenting my girl in her big sister shirt. (keep reading, I say were for a reason) Due December 4th, so we were expecting to have a baby around Thanksgiving or so.

Saturday April 11th
My brother's 25th birthday party.

Sunday April 12th
A good Easter, my girl's first.

The rest of April went off without a hitch, except for the mild and only occasional morning sickness.

Thursday May 14th
Our four-year anniversary.

Friday May 22nd-25th
Memorial Day weekend. The husband had to work (boo) so my girl and I loaded up with my mom, aunt and uncle and hit the beach. It was her first time, and it took a little getting used to. She hated the sand and refused to walk in it, at least the first day.

So my aunt had the fabulous idea of leaving her socks on in her shoes, and voila, it did the trick and she splashed around in the water like a little fish.

We hurried home on Memorial Day, the 25th so I could get to my 12 week doctor's appointment. Oh yeah, my girl started cutting her top teeth, after having the two on the bottom since Thanksgiving. That's six months folks.

Friday May 22rd
Get a call from our realtor informing us that we won't be closing on our house the following week because the buyer's loan fell through. Great.

Monday May 25th: A very bad day.
I'm still working through all of this, so forgive me for lack of detail.

12 week OB appt. Doctor couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler, so we went to ultrasound, were we were told that our baby had no heartbeat and had probably passed away about three weeks prior. He (I have a very strong feeling it was a boy) measured 8 weeks and 5 days. The doctor discussed the options: let things happen naturally, or schedule a D&C.

I asked the sonographer to print a picture.

Tuesday May 26th
Stayed home from work. Too heartbroken to face everything. Went back to the OB and spoke to a different doctor to ask some questions and hear the answers with a clearer head.

Friday May 29th
D&C. Surgery. Sucks.

Wednesday June 3rd
Morning
Got to work and checked my email only to discovery a message from our superintendent informing all non-tenured employees that our contracts will not be renewed for the next year. Freakin great. No job. They layed off 131 teachers with an email. Yes, an email.

Afternoon
My girl had an appointment with the ENT because she has had 6 stinkin ear infections in the past 7ish months. We wait what felt like ten years to see the doctor for 4.2 minutes. "We can do tubes" is what he says. Great. She has a cold and already has fluid in her ears. Just waiting for the next infection.

Thursday June 4th-Wednesday June 10th
The worst week of EOC testing that I hope to EVER experience. Testing, retesting. Learning contracts, waivers. It was bad. I mean, IT WAS BAD.

Friday June 5th
Pick up my girl at daycare and they tell me that she has been pulling on her ear all afternoon. Great. Doctor. Ear infection number 7. Tubes imminent.

Tuesday June 9th
Realtor says buyer has financing. Sale is back on.

Wednesday June 10th
Post-operative checkup at OB. Everything is fine, bleeding should stop very soon. Urine shows I'm still getting a positive result on a pregnancy test. Can mean that some tissue is still left behind. Retest in two weeks and call if not negative. Weird.

Friday June 12th
Morning
My girl's pre-op appointment. Drove 45 minutes to sign three sheets of paper. Nice.

Night
Graduation.

I should probably also include that my husband has been working overtime and weekends since right after I had my surgery. He has gotten home betwen 8 and 10pm every night. Glad to have the work, but boy does it bite not having him here.

Monday June 15th
My girl's surgery. It took all of 15 minutes, but I was a complete wreck the entire time. I do not want to see the inside of a hospital again for a very, very long time. Here she is sleeping it off.

So we are now three days post-surgery and she is doing well. She didn't feel so great the rest of the day, but she's playing and being herself now. She still has the cold that led to the ear infection and is now cutting at least one of the teeth, probably both, that are beside the two front ones. Whatever they're called. This picture is actually from the weekend before her surgery.

And coming up in July....Summer school! Which I agreed to teach while pregnant and anticipating maternity leave in the fall. We need the money, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it is a decision I will come to regret.

This ridiculously long post should give you some insight as to why updating the blog has been on the back burner. And who really reads it anyway? Just my way of working through it all for myself I think.

Basically in the course of the last three and a half weeks, we've had a miscarriage, lost a job, lost the contract on our house (which is now back on-yay) and two of the three people in our family have undergone surgery. It could be worse. We have so much to be thankful for even in the shadow of all we've gone through lately. I'm trying to remember that.

"How about Red Robin?"

So, we loaded up the van and traveled down the rain-soaked road with N and J last Saturday to attend a baby shower. My girl was very well-behaved and we left early enough to get to the mall and go to BuildABear for her birthday. She was one whole year old on Tuesday, and it's just so hard to believe.

Don't know what happened to this picture, but it's at least halfway decent. Get it, HALFway.

We made her a monkey. His name is monkey, and he's a boy. Says her father.

After we left the mall, we hit the Babies R Us for a few minutes to gather some last minute gift necessities.

Then we hit the shower where my wonderful husband proceeded to fall asleep with our child and snore so loudly it could be heard across the room and momentarily interrupted the opening of gifts.

I did manage to sneak over and get a shot of the snore-er though. It was pretty sweet.

Throughout the day, we wondered where we could eat on the way home. N was the only one who ever offered a suggestion: "We could go to Red Robin, it's on the way."

On down the road heading toward home, but what day out would be complete without a tasty meal. Now, please understand that we have not been out to eat with my girl for several months. We weren't trying to hide her away or anything, we just got busy and so now she's probably socially stunted. I'm counting on daycare to even that all out.

So the search for food begins; you know the drill: "where do you want to eat?" "I don't care, what do you want." N pipes up and lets us know that "Red Robin is close by, we could go there." So continues the discussion and looking around. I had no opinion, neither did J or my man, and my girl will eat almost whatever we put in front of her.

So we drive a little farther and get to the area with all the good eatin' places...Olive Garden, some steakhouse, some mexican somethin or other. I thought OG would be too quiet for a squealing (almost)one year old, and we drove slowly checking it out. N then proceeds "Red Robin is up here. They have good burgers." Uh huh, uh huh. What else is around?

"We could go to Red Robin, it wouldn't be too quiet in there."

What's that N, you want to go to Red Robin. Really? Sorry we took so long to catch on to your hints.

And then I didn't put my girl's snacks in the diaper bag.

And then we met our waitress....oh my.

She was one of those bug-you-until-you-are-ready-to-order-and-take-away-your-plate-while-you're-still-eating types. N saw the look I gave her when she came to see if I was finished with my bottomless fries; he said he was afraid I was going to stab her with my fork. I didn't. But I threw daggers with my eyes.

All ended well and the drive home was peaceful with my girl sleeping most of the way. Altogether a good, but tiring, Saturday outing.

Snow Pics

First Snow

Ask and You Shall Receive

Sounds simple, huh? Why is it that I can't seem to remember that simple little verse?

It hit me like a ton of bricks at around 4:03 AM this morning, when I was trying to get my girl to go back to sleep and lie down in her crib. She still does not officially "sleep through the night" nor does she sleep in her own room. In the middle of January, I thought we had made some miraculous breakthrough when she slept ALL NIGHT LONG in her crib for TWO SOLID WEEKS. But alas, that ended abruptly when she got an ear infection, and now she's back in our bed again.

Thankfully though, on Saturday night she did stay asleep in her crib from 10pm until 6 am. That's EIGHT whole hours people, AMAZING. I felt like a different person on Sunday morning.

Back to the point of this post... I had carried her from our bed to her room and attempted to lay her down, she woke up, I started rocking. You can have some crazy conversations with yourself at 4 am. Please go to sleep, please stay asleep, please just let me sleep...then I realize: Duh, who are you talking to? Why aren't you praying that GOD help her to sleep- cause He's the only one who can.

Then comes the realization: After I laid her down on Saturday night, when I crawled into my bed, I asked God to let her sleep all night long. I didn't crawl in thinking "I hope she sleeps" but, I actively prayed and asked GOD to let her sleep. And guess what, HE did. It's funny how we forget little details like that- I had completely forgotten I had even prayed it.

Ask and you shall receive. So here I am at 4-in-the-morning, rocking my girl, hoping that she will go to sleep and stay asleep, when I realize that God had answered my prayer the night before. I remembered that I had asked him and that he had delivered, so I said "I know You can do this, I cannot, but You can. You are the only one with the power to help her sleep. Please put her into a sound enough sleep so I can get some too. Just an hour-and-a-half, that's all, just please God let her sleep for another hour and a half."

And that's exactly what He did.

As soon as I said the words in my head, I felt her body relax. Her grip on my shirt loosened and all the tension in her arms and legs was gone. I laid her in her crib and she didn't move a muscle.

I got back in the bed; it was around 4:30.

She woke up at 6:03. Can't get much closer to an hour and a half than that.

Ask and you shall receive. It's a lesson I'm learning slowly.

So, if you'd like to help a mama out, pray for my girl around 10pm tonight. Cause, I figure if my prayer was answered, God would surely answer a request made by all of us :-)

And a photo from the beginning of February...She was in between sitting and standing. Kinda looks like a poop face, but I promise it's not. I think she looks like a boy working out doing squats. Please excuse my dear aunt Sally the dead grass. Spring where are you?

Feeling Better

It's been a long week in our house, well, at least for me anyway. I've been fighting a nasty cold for almost two weeks, and I was hoping it would just run its course and get the heck out of my head. Then the headaches started. Awful, aching pain in my temple, down my jaw bone and even in my teeth.

Any sane person with half-a-lick-a-sense (as some around these parts would say) would have at least considered the possibility of a sinus infection and, I don't know, go to the doctor. But not me, I wait until my head feels like it is going to explode from the pressure and subject my poor students to snot-nosed teaching. Now my girl's not the only snot-noser in the house.

So I finally go the the doctor and yes, indeed, I have a stinkin' sinus infection- my first ever. I've heard people complain of the pain of these things before, but I have a newfound sympathy now that I've experienced it. And rest assured, I will be at the doctor at the first sign of another one. I'm on an antibiotic and already feeling better.

On a lighter, and sweeter note, here are a couple of pics from the last couple of weeks.

Napping with Daddy. He took good care of her for a whole afternoon/evening so I could have a little time away getting a pedicure and goin to the movies.

Sweet girl...after her bath...oooh those eyes!

My Prayer ADD

Wow, that picture below sure is dark...didn't look so bad until it posted. Oh well.

The sermon at church yesterday (first time we've been in like six weeks, but anyway) was about the 5 things God expects from us, as described in somewhere in Deuteronomy. Let's face it, I can't remember these things. The gist of the message has something (and nothing) to do with what follows:

We are to love God first and foremost. Sounds simple, but I know I'm very guilty of forgetting that one. Especially when things seem to be going well. I suppose it's human nature to ignore God when everything is happy go-lucky and cry out to Him when things start to fall apart.

One of my goals right now is to be ever mindful that God is with me and to pray constantly. All that without-ceasing goodness.

I want to remember to pray for my daughter to have a good day at school. For me to have a good attitude at work and to remember how my words affect my students. For my husband to draw nearer to God. For my students to be able to settle their nerves before a test. For my mama as she learns how to be single again. For my marriage.

I'm a stream-of-consciousness-pray-er: I just pray throughout the day about whatever pops into my head and I find myself often experiencing prayer ADD as my mind wanders.

So, I might start out something like "God, be with my girl today at daycare and be with her teachers to help them make wise choices while caring for my child... keep her safe and don't let her get sick AGAIN, because that last one nearly did me in. Oh and could you maybe help her sleep tonight for more than 3 hours? In her crib. Without crying. Cause I don't think I can really take much more of her head-butting me at night."

I blather on and on in my head and eventually end up somewhere completely random like "be with the orphans in Africa." Cause, ya know, they don't have parents to send them to daycare and worry about another snot-nosed kid giving them ANOTHER cold. (Note: My daycare is wonderful, and my child is equally snot-nosy. Yes, I am now a mother of a "snot-nosed kid." Deal with it. End note.)

Do you have prayer ADD like me? Or are you organized and methodical? Do you repeat the same thing over and over? Or do you do it at all?

Prayer, how do YOU do it?

My Girl

January 21st- Hammin' it up with a wooden spoon.